Random Prompt #139

What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like?

I can only say that my morning ritual is mainly involved work days. I get up and get dressed first. Brush my teeth, wash my face and fix my hair for the day; you know, basic stuff. Make breakfast and making sure that I got all of my stuff ready before I walk out of the door.

It helps when using the “Routine Flow” app if you forget something, like taking pills or feeding the dog, and still on ..well, a routine. That’s what my morning ritual is like. I recommend the app if you need to get your routine in the flow (hehe) and be more productive. It has a visual timer and helps people with ADHD and Autism.

Why dating is so hard?

Why it’s so hard to meet someone? I mean, I met them and had fun, but one by one, they all last a month or so. Tell me, is there a hidden rule of dating in the 2020s? Because I would be pleased to know.

I just don’t understand humans. Then again, I never understand them since I can remember, but it’s just the dating part. I mean, I mean I started this experience very late, right after my high school year’s over and done with. Unless you count the time one relationship lasted three days because he was in a ‘bad mood.’ It’s a bit stupid, don’t you think? What kind of a lousy mood causes one to end a relationship that belay started? To this day, I still don’t know why. The boy got the nerve to message me, claiming he was still in love with me. We hadn’t seen or talked to each other in 13 years. Can you believe that?

Anyhow, I believe I started dating at age 22, and it was someone at work. The relationship was good; together for a year, and we went to Vegas together(No, we didn’t get married or anything like that). Of course, there were some problems in between, and they were one of those people who didn’t want to talk about it, no matter how supportive you were.

After a while of being single, after the breakup, I give those dating apps a try. After a time, I got a few bites out of it, but most of the time, the result remained the same. Match, talk for a couple of days, and then ghosts. I’m always the one who messaged first, and I disliked that fact because when I messaged, they often didn’t message me again. That’s when I know they have lost interest in me, and if they want to talk to me, they will message me first. It sucks because I try my best to be ‘interesting.’ if that’s the correct word, to continue the interaction between that person and me. It’s already hard enough to make friends on one of those sites. I just don’t understand why it’s so hard to meet people. I don’t.

I got lucky a couple of times, but Alta, it didn’t last long, and I know that one of my relationships wasn’t last—just a gut feeling. Don’t feel bad for me; I’m fine, and I’m learning the whole culture of dating of this century. I just want someone that lasts more than a couple of months, Someone who’s being honest with me. Someone accepted me as me. A few people think being autistic is not something to be qualified for in a relationship, and that hurts. I told them I’m autistic when we met (online), and after that, poof, gone.

I just don’t understand why it’s this hard. I know it’s hard, like being an adult and managing to pay the bills. I should give it up and try again right now, but I have some leads that might lead to friendships or more. Who knows? May is coming, and it’s almost half a year in 2023. Hopefully, things will turn for me, but like I said, who knows? Thanks for taking the time to read this, and if you have any dating tips or advice, please let me know. Thank you. Stay safe and stay weird, friends.

Voice (Poem)

What's one voice can do?
Do many things as you go.
Make some noise; bring some joy.
Cry; must not hide.
Tell truths; no more lies.
Forward to future and past behind.
There's always a choice.
We need these voice. 

At last, my school day is over

Seven years. I couldn’t believe I had finally graduated from college after seven long years! It took me seven years to finish what I had started.

For those who have recently read my blog, my early post says it under “Happy December 9th.” But I will explain again and in more detail why it took me this long. In 2013, I was in my last year of high school and looking forward to entering college, but then the ‘Bomb’ came in and almost broke my spirit. I don’t know exactly who it was in the meeting other than my mom and my Special Ed Teacher; the other people told me that I couldn’t go to college because not only that I’ll be graduating with a special degree, but I’m autistic. They believe that I could handle or make it. I couldn’t believe it, not even my mom. Even though I felt defeated, they did, however, give me a choice. Either I get a GED after I finish high school or start high school over again. Despite how young I look, I would rather not be in high school as an adult. I don’t want to start over when my friends are out of high school and become a target if the kids discover my age. So, my best bet was GED, and I’m glad I chose that.

After high school, I took a gap year and helped my family at home since my mother works graveyard shifts. I get my siblings dressed, fed, and ready for school. When they were at school, and mom slept for a few hours, I cleaned around, took care of the pets, and occasionally, I took care of dinner for the kids. When the year ended, I took GED classes on campus and got a night shift job like my mom’s. Luckily, it was part-time, so I could still go to campus. It took me two years to complete my GED. I remember the satisfaction and relief as I passed my final test. I could have been over and done like most people, but I’m not like most people. I have a mission to complete: to prove them wrong about me. So, after my little break, I started a new semester as a college student.

I only stayed in the same college for the next couple of years until my family, and  I moved to Orlando to be closer to our jobs. I only took a semester off to settle in. Doing online classes and on-campus while working the night shifts three days a week was good until my job took over. What I meant by that is I became a certain age to have health insurance on my own, and I can’t get that if I’m still part-time. Due to some complications, it took me a while, but I switched from part-time to full-time. It wasn’t easy to adjust to being a full-time; it’s like going out almost every night without the fun and joy of it, not that I’m much of a club-goer or anything. But I was slowly becoming a vampire over time, as an example. So, because of that and working five days a week, I have all of the classes to be online and, if I’m lucky, a course on campus once a week. It sounds overwhelming, but I only went to school part-time, two courses per term since mom and I carpool to work, and she starts her shift earlier than mine. I use that time to do my homework (or even go to the movie) before my shift starts. The plan went great, but then the year 2020 hit.

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From Start to Finish (Poem)

Where do you begin? 
Can we start over again?
So many things, wishing to rewind or vanish
Mistakes were made, and regrets had been filled 
Wanted to run, but we have to live 
From start to finish 

Update(Happy Earth Day)

I don’t have any that I want to post other than Happy Earth Day, but I just wanted to thank you for reading my blog. I have been checking the stats and most post that has been checking out is “Time to make some change.” I don’t know what that post got more views, but I would like to hear your thoughts about it. No rude words or trolling, please.

I also want to give a long overdue thanks to “Love That Max” for unexpectedly bring viewers to my blog a year ago. If you are reading this post, I’m sorry for taking this long, but Thank you for choosing ” Quarantine life” as your favorite post. I never heard of you before until I found out a couple of months later after that post, honestly. Thank you so much for choosing that post as your favorite and bring me some viewers.

I wish you all well and stay safe, and other thanks to the doctors and nurses for taking care of us during this difficult time. Thank you, and I’ll post more soon. Stay weird, lovelies!

April is Autism Awareness/Acceptance Month

Now, I know that it has been known as Autism Awareness Month for as long as I can remember, and now, I heard that they were trying to change it into Autism Acceptance Month. to be honest, I like the term “acceptance,” but “awareness” is still needed. I mean, the word “awareness” is not a bad word to use; it means knowledge and understanding that something is happening or exists. Autism has been exist for a long time, and some people didn’t think about it, like, someone called them slow, off, or the “R” word, and I still dislike that word with great passion.

When I’m getting to know someone, I always tell them that I am an Autistic young woman and okay with that fact. There was a 60/40 chance that they accept that is who I am and still want me in their life. The 40 % chance is when I try to date, so far. The point that I’m trying to make is that I do want people to accept Autism as a part of me, and it’s not going to charge that, but I also want people to be aware that Autism is not something to be fixed, and there are different levels of Autism, like myself and my brother. We all have strengths and weaknesses, just like everyone. We just more different than others. I’m okay that I’m autistic and my friends and my family accept me and my disability.

So, I hope everyone is alright, be safe, and please, wear a mask. Also, Be kind, accept, and support the autism community. Have a good day!