Art is My First and True Love

My class got canceled due to my teacher’s oral surgery. Unable to open his mouth without feeling the worst pain that you can possibly imagine. I genuinely hope it heals better for the next class on Monday. Mr. V is a great teacher and one of my favorite art teacher. I have other art teachers in the past from my childhood in NY to Now. Over those times, They made fall in love art again when I fall out of it until in high school, when I decided that I want to go to college to learn more about art and making art. Since I went to his drawing class a couple of years, he was helping me to improve my drawing skills and actually try to draw more to recover after his class.

This drawing is my favorite piece. It took me three days to finish this as a final exam in Mr. V’s class. He was impressed that I used colored pencils for it and improved a lot. He suggested that I should turn this piece into a painting, meaning he really likes it. It made me happy and should improve my drawing skills before I attend another art class. I have been fall in and out of love with art before. I don’t want to fall out of this one again. Time to drawing!

New month, My favortive month

Happy birthday to former president Carter, Disney World, and last, but not least, mom.

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Since it’s my mom’s birthday, I decided to skip the art club today and stay home to clean to house a bit for her. It’s the least I could do since I have some time to kill before going back to work and next class assignments. But that is not all. I’m amazed that after I started this blog, I already got a like and a follower. Cool, right? It’s a good start.

It’s October!! I love that month, mostly it because of Halloween. I mean, who does love Halloween? I am one of those people who loves Halloween more than Christmas. I do like Christmas, of course. That is why we have “The Nightmare Before Christmas” because It’s a Halloween/Christmas movie and I love it! Thanks, Tim Burton.

Stressful update

Ok. I’m feeling more stressed from the inside because I was trying to study more for a very late midterm exam, which moving my stuff to my new room a few days ago. Thankfully, we have a review quiz to see how much we learned and remembered but still felt stress. The exam is at least 40% of our grade; however, the question is in multiple choices and ‘true or false,’ so, Thank god, I think. We just took that exam on Wednesday, but what I’m stressing about is that I have a 1,200 word paper due on the 12th, and I’m still about over 600 words to go. I’m trying to focus on that. However, I kept on thinking about my other responsibilities, like fixing up my new room or doing laundry. I was also trying to give away my work shift to make sure that I finish it on time, but of course, no one is taking it. So, I have to go to work. I don’t mind it. Need to make some money, right. Then, some bad luck came.

I was on my way to work with my mom when there was high traffic ahead. I have no idea what caused the traffic, other than it was raining and we need to careful with that kind of nature on the road. I know right there that I’m going to be late for work and I never, EVER, been late for work since I started to work there before. I was nine minutes late. I wanted to do some work on my paper on my lunch hour, but I have been tired out when working hard to make one or two areas of the store look good. I wanted nothing more than to take a day off to just writing, drawing, or just catching up on my shows, but I also wanted to get most of the schoolwork done as soon as possible. School is crucial right now until the term ended. I hope you guy feeling the same way as I’m feeling right now. I’m going to get some sleep since I been staying up to work on the paper and it’s 3:24 am in the morning. Hopefully, I’ll be able to finish it soon. Wish me luck and good night. Until next time. Bye!

It’s Over! Halloween is Over.

So, yesterday. My first ever therapy went good and going to have it again soon. After that, I got dressed up as a witch with my clothes and a witch hat I got years back and go to the Halloween festival with my family in Altamonte Springs. I might be a little too old for trick or treating, but I didn’t care. I got some candy, and I still look like a high schooler. So, Yay! Haha. We could have got A.J. (my little brother) a blue pumpkin bucket to tell people that he has autism, but he did alright (with mom and me to say to him “trick or treat” and ‘Thank you’). We have fun and found a swarm of turtles on the lake. It’s crazy. It was like 20 or more turtle, and one of them is larger than others, and it looks mutated with something that I don’t know. Their noses look like a straw. I wish I had taken a picture of him or her. Does anyone know what I’m talking about or no? What kind of turtle is that?

Anyway, we only did one lap of the park because my siblings got tired of walking. Well, me too as well, but I have a reason, and it’s involved cramps(Nothing terrible, just pain). Then, we went home, have a late dinner, and watching shows that we might have missed. So, it was a good day, and I hope you guys have a good Halloween yesterday, as well. Until next time, stay weird, and Here’s a video for you.

Here are some turtles if you can see them. (I think my video sound weird, I don’t know) Enjoy!

It’s Halloween

This is Halloween. This is Halloween. Halloween, Halloween, Halloween Halloween. Haha.

Halloween is finally here! Time for some dress-up, favorite Halloween movies, Candy. Lots and lot of Candy. Now, I don’t know what I’m going to do today later on, but I know in the morning, I’m going somewhere a bit scary: Therapy. I have never been into one as an individual, at least. Since I been having some anxiety attacks and depression, I feel in need of going to therapy. Of course, I can always talk to my mom about everything that I am feeling, but she knows that she does not have all the answers, and I know that as well. I hope it went well today. Wish me luck, and I might let you know how it goes. Oh, Happy Halloween, everybody. I hope you have a Spooktacular night.

Juggle with school, work, and life

I keep asking myself the questions. How can we (people) able to do it? How they ready to go through a stressful life? Able to hold a job and keeping up with classes? I asked those questions, and I know the answer the whole time. That’s life.

This couple of weeks has been hell between midterm, 1,200 words project, and help out my stepfather who came home after a month in the hospital. I have to give away my shifts from work. So, I won’t feel some stress or anxiety over my homework. I have those before at work, but I managed to hide it( I think since nobody said anything to me or even asked). Although I want to make more money, school comes first. Somedays, I’m trying to wake myself early to be ready before my class begins. I ended up in bed again and needed to get ready in less than an hour before class. Of course, I still manage to get in class, but some were close calls. Also, there were days that I feel less motivated, like writing. I believe it’s depression. I need to get back on track with my homework and balance everything out while things are going now. Hopefully, I will write more because this is all I’m going to write for now. Sorry. Until then. Stay Weird.

Meaning of the word: friends. What is the true meaning of the word?

You know, sometimes I hate fall. Don’t get me wrong, I love fall for the weather starting to feel cold( if you lived in Florida, you get me), raining seasons, and bugs and animals are slowly going to sleep for wintertime. More importantly, HALLOWEEN!! However, I’m not talking about the season.

Have you felt like that your friends are not as you thought were, long ago? or like after time, you slowly see some red flag that you never see before? I have. I’m known to be loyal to my friends, but it’s hard to be faithful to someone with that lack of loyalty, or even someone is “toxic.” Now, I’m one of those kinds of friends that accept them for who that are, flaws and all. There’s are times that I want to help them out and spend time with them, but there are also times that I want to keep my distance from them, like if they are asking for money and never give back or co-sign something that might affect your credit. Here’s my story about me and my friend, let’s called her Amber.

“An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend wound your mind.”

-Buddha

Amber and I had been friends since the beginning of our high school years, ten years ago. Things were good back then; however, our friendship is slowly parting ways when we got older and after high school. Lately, I’m starting to see Amber of what she is. Amber is a lying, manipulated drama seeker. She made anyone and herself like she’s all that, but she is not, and every time, they go out. When any guy is starting to have some interested in me, and things were getting good between us until when I came back from the bar or bathroom, they seemed to be avoiding me like the plague afterward. There were no proofs about what happened between these breaks, but I know that those guys went alone with HER. I believe that Amber was talking s*ht about me, but as I said, there was no evidence of what happened. So, I decided that Amber hasn’t been a good friend, even back when I considered her as my best friend in the past. Nowadays, we don’t talk as much anymore or hang out like we used to because I don’t need someone like her in my life. Just keep my distance from her, and I don’t mind at all. Sometimes I wonder how in the world I became friends with that kind of person, but it has done in the past. We thought they were good friends and then, we slowly see them for what they are that are no good at all. However, I still have some terrific friends that I can trust with my life, and I will continue to make some new friends that will might in my life or not. It’s my choice.

Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.

-Eleanor Roosevelt

Would you give up your dream?

It’s been a few days since my last post. I heard an old friend of mine was having a hard time, a hard year for him. (Not give all the detail) So broken up that he was thinking about giving up music because his friend/bandmember decided to step out of the band. When he said that he was thinking about giving up music, it brings me back when I was about to give up in high school. Back then, I thought I wasn’t going to be anything but a girl with autism. I didn’t know if I wasn’t able to found myself a job or didn’t know if I will be able to have a relationship. However, one of these moments that would have made me give up on my dreams is when I attend a meeting in school where they told me that I would not be able to go to college…at all. I was so crushed, devastated.

One thing that my mom told me is that when I want to do something, I go right ahead and do it. Six years since high school and I was able to change everything for myself. I got my first job at Disney(still working there), got myself into college, had a couple of relationships, and willing to find love again. Of course, during my time in college, I have my fairs of doubts about my major in art since there are not a lot of art jobs around. However, it didn’t matter to me. Making art is what I love to do, and this is what I want to do. I can always go back to school and learn something else.

So, I told him something that my mom would say. About my story and that when you decided, we will support you and give yourself a break. He will found himself again; just I have with family and friends by our side. If you are feeling like giving up the things that you enjoyed because of an unfortunate event, give yourself a break as long as you need and find yourself.

When will i learn?

Have you been told what to do and sometimes those things that you supposed to do or even tell them that there is no more or need help? You ended up didn’t do it, or there was a struggle to finding the words other than “I forget”? ~ You may not think it was a big deal, but it is a big deal to some people, like things for school, for work, or even for family. There were times that I did something like that to myself, and something is significant, and I feel bad afterward because I didn’t have the right answer to explain myself. I wish I could go back in time and fixed it or make sure that it didn’t happen again, but of course, I’m not Doc Brown.

I wonder who said that when “mistakes made, and we must learn from them.” Well, there are mistakes that I did learn and not planning to do that again in the later future; however, there still are mistakes that are still processing and repeating in the latter days or weeks. I hope I wouldn’t continue with those mistakes I made a few days ago. If I did, when will I ever learn?

Sometimes I fear that I will continue ‘not paying attention’ though out my adult years. I’m in my mid-’20s for god sake, and I’m still having this habit of mine. Those habits are not easy to break, like nail-biting. I could only hope that I can able to break this habit of mine and start paying more attention. Be more focused.