Feeling stuck

I know the pandemic has been taking a toll on all of us. Mentally that is. of course, little by little, more places are opening up again, people are getting vaccinated, and the masks policies are optional( to those who are fully vaccinated, of course). I am happy about that, no doubt about that, but I don’t feel like I am.

Maybe it’s because I have been working the night shift for five years straight? Perhaps it’s because I went from Part-time to Full-time? Or it’s because I started to feel like this is my life, “work all night and sleep all day” life? All I know is that I was feeling, as you see the title, stuck. So, I decided to put a stop to that by picking up day shifts.

At first, I was utterly nervous because I have never done it before. Let alone being around guests or operating a cash register. Luckily, the other cast members helped me along and made me feel welcome as I work. After a couple of shifts, I found myself enjoyed the day shifts.

I couldn’t believe it myself. I mean, it’s was overwhelmed. Almost every 2 hours or so, I switch positions, from greeter to register to restock. Hell! I like doing the cash register for some reason, maybe because it made me more focused or something.

Therefore, I seriously want to transfer from night to day shifts after being there a few times. The only issue I have is transportation. I can’t drive; I never learned yet. So, I will have to Uber, Lyft, or even my mother will take me to work if she has the time. I have done that before, and I will do it again since I lived close to my job. All I know is that I need to change something in my life, which is one of them.

Have you ever feel like stuck like that before? If so, what do you do? Feel free to comment if you like. As always, stay safe, six feet distance, please wear a mask. Until next time, Lovely weirdos.

Sorry

I know I haven’t been active with the blog. I have been struggling with anxiety and panic attacks lately. Some of them were out of my control. Trust me; it was not a good day for me that day. I’m getting some help now. I am also trying to improve my job before college starts again and during my classes since I worked the 3rd shift. I have dealt with this situation before, but that’s when I was working part-time; I’m working full-time now.

I keep thinking that something will go wrong between working night full-time and doing classes online, even though only two of them. Oh, well. School is starting up again, and I hope everything goes well by the end of this year. Stay safe and wear a mask, please. Happy Labor Day!

Please Watch “We Ship Asexuality and Aromanticism with Liz Rosa aka greyandtarafan” on YouTube

This is my friend that I’m helping out with, and her story needs to be heard. Thank you!

Writers Wanted

I have a friend who is doing an animation project of hers, and she is struggling with it. She is looking for some new writers to help her. I’m helping her out with it, but more is needed.

Any writing experience is good; however, screenwriting experience is preferred. Must be live in the U.S. Interest in the animation industry is preferred or animation voice-overs in general. 18+ applications only. If interested, send your sample to this email address: greyandtarafan@gmail.com, and be warned, we will do background checks. Thank you!

What is normal? (Poem)

I have found one of my old poems that I wrote a few years ago. As I read it, I thought I would share it with you all. I hope you like it!

What is normal?
I don't know what it means, and I hear it every day.
Well, I do know, but in a different meaning or way.
Like 'is it a normal temperature?' Or 'does this look normal to you?'
When I said those first words, I meant, what's being normal to you? 
Is it dull? Being simple? Or never try or do something different?
Why? Because you want to fit in or fear of judgement? I beg to differ.
Everyone thinks they're normal, but we are anything but the norm.
We are all different, we sound different, we look different in any size or form.
I know I'm not normal,I know that I will never or want to be one.
I always find the non-norms interesting and a bit fun.
Because they are never afraid to be themselves and always stay true.
If you ever ask yourself,"how can I be normal?", just be you.
So, the next time, if you heard "that's not normal", just say " what is normal?"
Because normal is overrated.

Five years, huh?

I know that I haven’t been active lately with this blog, and it’s my fault, but like Sebastian from The Little Mermaid said, “the human world is a mess”, and boy, what a mess this world is. It’s a miracle that most of us are standing.

This week is my fifth anniversary of working at Disney is near, and it didn’t feel like that I work that long. Haha. I’m not expecting much because of covid and everything, but I think back five years where I got an email from Disney saying I got the job.

That day, I was in Seminole State College, getting my GED, and I was still trying to find a job. It was hard to a job because you need work experience to get it. The people who suppose to help me (people with autism) get a job; I haven’t heard from them much since that little test of theirs involved hand-eye coordination. That email surprised me so much, I thought it was fake, but it wasn’t. More surprised because I remember how the interview went. I was so nervous; I thought I blew it. Luckily, my mom was there to help me out. I was so happy that I got my first job ever, and one of my friends was so envious that is Disney.

Five years later, I’m closer to finishing my degree. My family and I moved much closer to work, from 45 mins to 20 mins away from the job site. Despite that, it has been almost a year since the pandemic starts; I was fortunate enough to get this job and not ask my mom for money when I’m out with friends or needed something like clothes. Haha. Being an adult is exhausting as hell, but it is what it is, right? So, I hope that you are safe out there, wash your hands and wear a mask. Stay safe and Stay weird!

My decisions for 2021.

This year has been a stressful roller-coaster for everyone and me. Businesses shut down, people getting laid off or furlough, and numbers of cases rising more than we expected. Now, I’m fortunate enough that I didn’t Coivd so far and still have my job (because months earlier, many people got laid off at Disney or fired); however, I still have to be more careful with calling in or giving away shifts.

So, I have decided that I’m taking a semester off from college. My reason for that break is because of work. Since I’m full-time now, I need to fill a lot of hours if I want to stay as a full-time employee, and because of school, I have been giving away shifts to work on my assignments. Another reason for the break is to catch up with my hobbies and do something that I need to do, like getting a permit to learn how to drive.

One of my last assignment.

Also, my family and I recently moved to a new area. It’s close to work, and so far, it’s going well. Still unpacking stuff, but going well. Why do we have so much stuff? I don’t know. Maybe because we’re a big family and one of us is a hoarder(not me if you are wondering). That week we moved was stressful enough for me to worry about school because there wasn’t any wifi before. I have to use my work or school wifi to able to do my assignments. Luckily enough, we able to have wifi before my finals begin, and I got decent grades for it.

My finals. I think I did a good job of it.

Therefore, I’ll try my best to everything that needs to be done and rekindled my passions until my time off is up in the next six months. I hope everyone is doing well to those who are reading this post and hope things will be better in 2021. Stay safe, wash your hands, and as always, stay being weird. Happy Holiday!

Time to make some change

Do you ever start something that you should have learned a long time ago but never fully finished? Ever feel like you still in Square one? An everyday routine that never improve? Stuck? Well, for me, It knows how to speak Spanish. All of my life, I only knew a little bit of Spanish, like “Hola, Como esta?” or “Afuera” if I need to walk my dog. So, I have to take Spanish 1 for this semester(which is fall, not spring)to learn more than I remember Duolingo. I like that app, but I have always relearned myself with essential words when I’m too busy or lazy to do the app. So, that’s what I’m taking the class. It’s forcing me to learn it, even though it’s a bit fast pace, but I’m going to do it. In the beginning, I did think of quitting the class, but I know I can’t that.

Since I choose a Spanish class, which I know will be hard for me, I pick up a different course involving art. The only difference about that class is I have to do it on the computer. Digital Media is another thing for me because I have no experience with it. I have always know how to make art by hand, not by the computer. I’m doing this class because of the pandemic and thinking about maybe becoming a graphic artist if I enjoy it so much.

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Here’s are some of my assignments that I’m proud of you. (Apparenty, I can only show that it is image file.)

Well, that’s all I have to say about this post. Covid is still out there; so, Wear a mask, social distancing, and wash your hands frequently. In other words, Be a Monk (if you get the reference). Lastly, stay weird, my lovelies.

Almost Normal?

It’s been almost three months since I started working again, and things were hectic and intense. I have to be out there, knowing the virus is still active. Everyone must separate from each other (Social Distancing), and we must stay in our assigned area until the store opened and move on to our next task. In the first few weeks of work, I was part of the cleaning crew and had to be out on the floor, clean the screen, the desk, the door, etc. It was hard when the guests were coming near you and not being “6 feet apart”. One time, they were security involved because they were a group that was “in the way” and has more than ten people.

Now, with the number of cases has been going up day by day. I can’t help but feel like I fear for my life now that people can get corona without any symptoms at all. So, it’s hard to know for sure, and with all anger, in the U.S., I understood that they want to fight for their right, but there are different ways to do than violence and riots. I don’t want them to defunded the police, but I want them to eliminate the cops who believe they’re ‘higher than god’ because I wish that there are some good cops out there, and my father was one of them. I might not remember well about my dad being a policeman, but my mother did work at his precinct years ago, and she told me that his peers respected him.

My little brother, A.J., was in the hospital for kidney stones, and I was scared for him because he has no idea what was going on. He’s fine and happy to be home after being in the hospital for 3 – 4 days. Luckily, mom was with him, or else he would freak out. Also, no COVID in his system, Thank god.

Lately, I feel more stressed and anxious because my mom got a call back for work. We were hoping and praying that our time shifts are close enough to come in and leave work together; it’s not happening. I can’t tell the exact time of our shifts starts and ends, but I will tell you that I will have to wait six more hours before my shift starts, and my mom will have to wait four more hours for me, off work. We both lived in Sanford and work nights. I don’t know what to do with this situation. I can’t stay on the breakroom and wait because of COVID, and it’s hard to get a Uber or Lyft in a specific time that I need to be at work. I wish there’s a right, no, a better solution to the problem if anyone has dealt with it before. I’m in a deep hole.

Well, that is all that’s going on for the past couple of months. Just when you think you were going to have a good year in 2020, and it’s just slowly making hell breaks loose for us. We can only hope and pray that this virus wouldn’t last long like what happened 100 years ago. As long as we keep our distance, wash our hands, and wear a mask 😷. I know that some of us don’t like doing that, but we have to do our very best to save lives and reduce the number of cases, please. Thank you for your time to read this and stay safe. Bye!

Quarantine life (Part 2; last)

Despite how the year 2020 goes to everyone in the world, there were some interesting turns in my life. I got to paint for the first time in a while, draw some designs, and clear up some(grown-up) stuff that needed to be done. Things have been going alright until my “unofficial” vacation had come to an end. For those who live in Florida, you know about Disney Spring is re-opening on Phase 1 basics. I got called back to work in a few days. The hours that I’ll be working are entirely different from what I usually work, but hopefully, it’s temporary like everything else.

Online classes were starting a couple of weeks ago, and I’m trying to finish it as early as possible since one of my teachers seems to said that we could do that, in theory, of course. I want to able to finish most of my school work before I start working again. (Lord, help me). That’s all I have to say. Bye!

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  This is my painting. it’s a bit off, but I think it’s good. What did you think?

Mind Reset(Story)

Well, I wrote this for a contest a few weeks back. I didn’t win, of course, but I thought I should share it with you guys and tell me what did you think of it. It’s a rough draft of a story I had for a while. Enjoy the story!

Do you know the saying “Today is a new day”? That saying has a different way of meaning. Such as a new day from yesterday from some or a new day of a new life from others. That last one has happened to me when I woke up one day and believed me when I said that this is not the place you wanted to be wake up from it. It all started with voices that woke me up.

 I opened my eyes when I see the light. NO! Not that kind of light, it’s the kind you see in schools or hospitals. Now, I thought that I’m in a hospital at first, but then, why do I feel like I’m lying in a cold, flat plate, naked? That’s right. I was presumed dead and woke up in the morgue. I might have narcolepsy with cataplexy or something, but all I know is that I don’t have any idea how it happened to me. I hear the voices again and turned my head to my left. I lift my upper body and found two women, talking as they are looking at the dead body. Their conversation seemed to be one-sided since the brunette is so working on the corpse and the blond woman seems to complain of what the brunette is doing to the corpse.

 “Oh, bite marks on the neck. Frisky one.” said the brunette. 

“No shit! Just figure it out how I get killed!” When I heard that from the blond, I started to notice her appearance and now, I finally see the corpse. I can see now. Her face was paler than the brunette. Her eyes look like she hasn’t slept in days while her actual eye in the body looks refresh, for a dead body. Difference between the dead and the living, the spirit looks a bit hollow. 

“Oh, no. Don’t do that. Don’t cut me up.” the blond complains again. 

“Why you care? you’re already dead.” I didn’t realize I said it out loud until their heads turn to me. The brunette looks shocked and about to faint while the blond was in a different shock. Both of them started to ask me.

“Are you alive?” the brunette slowing asked.

“You can hear me?” The blond sound happy about that. I was dumbfounded as I awkwardly waved at them since there is no point to play dead now. “Can you see me too?” I nodded to her question. The moment the blond was about to speak, the brunette fainted and almost hit the floor when I catch her. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy. Easy.” I get off to hold her. Her tag said her name is Nancy. Nancy Graves. I look around and found a chair for her to sit. “Ok, Ms. Graves. Don’t faint. Help me out here.” I have her walked with me with her arm around my shoulder.

“How are you alive?” Nancy stuttered and I lightly giggled.

“Your guess is as good as mine.” I sat her down, ran to grab a rag and turn on the sink for cold water. “Have you found the cause of death for Blondie, Dr. Graves?” I asked as I turned off the water and walk to her, with a now cold, wet rag. 

“My name is Bonnie.” said the blond.

“Ok, Bonnie. Sorry.” I placed the rag on Nancy’s head. “Here. Sorry about that.”

“It’s alight and to answer your question, yes I have found you.” I turned to Bonnie. 

“See? Just let her do her job.”

“So, you can see you! OH MY GOD!” I ignored her to focus on Nancy, who looked confused. 

“Are you see the dead?” I shrug as a ‘yes’. “Do you know her as well? We found you in the same place as she was.” 

“No. I never see her before in my life.” I paused and looked at Bonnie. “Do we know each other?” she just shook her head and then, I turned back to Nancy. “No.” I notice that Nancy now looks concerned at me. She placed her two fingers on my neck, checking my pulse.

“Pulse are good.” she now holds her finger and moves as I followed. “Do you know what year is it?” I shooked my head. “Do you know what happens to you?” I shooked again. Then, she asked me a final question that made me scared. “Do you know your name?” I try to think about my name, but nothing came up. No memories of my name or my life. My face expressed enough to have her answer. “Ok, we can help you. I’m going to make a call and I think you should get dressed.” I looked down and realized I’m nothing but underwear. “Your clothe are right there.”

“Thanks” I got dressed as Nancy made her call to come down here to someone.

 She later told me that it was a detective who found Bonnie and me. The detective was also her brother, Nick. I was wearing punk clothes as if I was in a band. Am I in a band? As we waited for her brother, I become her assistance since I can see Bonnie’s spirit. We learned that Bonnie was strangled and have a blunt force trauma on her head and thighs. Bonnie has no memories of it since she remembers that morning. At least, she remembers something.

At last, her brother came. “Hi, bro. Look who’s up?” she said as I turn to her. 

“OH MY GOD!” he freaked out, back against the wall. “She was dead.”

“I know and but, I’m not.” Nancy quickly told him about me and my empty memories. I turned to Bonnie as I notice something odd in her spirit mode. I reached out, touched her and Bonnie’s spirit became visible as she stands. The Graves see her spirit as well.  I let go and back to me, only seeing her. I looked at them and asked, “Who and what am I?”

END.

Happy Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day to ones who are biological or stepmothers, aunts, or sisters that step up. Mothers to furry babies, foster mothers, adoptive mothers, single mothers, mothers who are gone too soon, mothers who are grieving, and to fathers who are both mom and dad. More importantly, mothers to autistic or disabled children, like my mom. It may not be an easy job, but I am grateful to have a mom like her. A mom who believes that I can be or do anything that I put my mind to it, like going to college that I told you about in my ‘Dec. 9’ post. She’s the coolest mom, and I’m lucky to be her daughter.

Quarantine life

It’s been over a month since I have ordered to stay at home as possible, like everyone else. I started to feel like I want to go to work, knowing Disney is closed until further notice, so, until then, I will try to keep myself. I will do things that I didn’t have time to do before. I relearned myself Spanish again, finishing my homework as possible(Which I’m finished with them until the Summer term started), and try to help out around the house as I can as I’m not too lazy to do so.

Since I’m through with my classes, I wanted to go back to my hobbies. I made a routine for that, even though I’m a little bad at staying and keeping up with the routine sometimes. However, little by little, I write my stories and draw, like, a few days, I draw the cartoon version of Beetlejuice. It’s not so bad for my first attempt, but I still need to work on the hands and the feet. I really should use the time do improve my skills since I have nowhere to go. It’s okay since I’m an introvert. I go out for a walk around the neighborhood or walking the dog.

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Photos: One on the left is the cartoon Beetlejuice and one on the right my drawing of it.

Now, I heard from my mom about Disney. They were thinking about reopening the parks soon. Well, about 50% were thinking about it. I don’t know what they’re going about that or when they are going to reopen, but I do know they have to think about doing the social distancing with the guests and maybe the workers as well. You know, taping the lines to make sure that they are six feet apart. The stores may do the same thing as the grocery stores, like Publix or Walmart. The rides? I’m not too sure. Maybe separate others who came as a group or something like that. I hope they are thinking about this through because I instead am safe than sorry. You know, I wanted this to be over as soon as possible if people followed the rules.

That is all I have to say for now. I hope everybody is alright and healthy. Remember to stay at home as possible and wash your hands. What else? Oh, yes. Stay Weird, even though the situation is weird, but keep your sanity. Stay home, Bye.

My little brother(Happy Autism Awareness Day)

My little brother and I have a lot in common; we enjoy watching Disney movies, making art, and we both have autism. It’s April 2; Autism awareness day. In honor of the day, I wanted to tell you about him.

My baby brother, A.j. and I, are six years apart. A.J. has been diagnosed with autism; he was 2 when I was diagnosed at a later age. However, I have been diagnosed as Asperger’s syndrome; I have no idea what kind of autism he is. We all know that A.J.’s autism is very different from mine. Like, how our minds work. When my mind is an adult, A.J.’s mind is a 5-year-old.

A.J. is a handful since he is an adult now, but he’s smart and creative in his way. When he was playing with Legos, he never used instruction. He copies the picture right from the box itself. That’s pretty cool. He’s always ready to help out when he can, like when our dog stole one of our shoes, and we stop her. A real teammate he is. I don’t have any blue to my support of autism, but this is what I’m posting this. Hopeful to inspired people who may or may not know someone who has autism and show support, especially with anything ‘s going on right now.

Always remember: Stay safe, wash your hands, and for this day and every day, be kind to one another. Be back soon!

Coronavirus: A new plague or An Apocalypse?

Who would you have thought? Three months in the year 2020, and it seems like everything went to hell for most people. I mean, I know this virus is terrible, but never thought everyone acts like the world is ending. Who needs that much toilet paper?😒

For real, though. It is my birthday month and after my birthday(It’s a good birthday if you were wondering), all Schools, parks (Disney and Universal), most stores are closed. Some of you know that I work at Disney; so, you probably know that I’m out of work until we’re re-opened again. It’s quite crazy since I start being full-time, and now I’m temporarily unemployed. I may be a homebody, but I don’t like being at home for a long time mostly because I don’t like being there when my annoying stepfather is there. He’s worse than an actual child, but as long as he still goes to in his cage(the garage), it’s okay. Also, My siblings would be home a lot now if what they said about out of school for the rest of the semester is officially valid; they are home-school. Not sure about that idea, though.

Then, I have to look at the bright side: I have enough time for my assignments since my classes are online anyway. I might take a painting day because I never got to do that in a while. Learn a new skill. I am living like Rapunzel before she left her tower. Now, it been four days since I been quarantined and trying to make the best it until it’s over.

So, remember to wash your hands and clean your home, doing something(reading, drawing, board game) other than watching t.v., and don’t forget to have some sun in you and I don’t mean going to the beach, like other people to don’t listen to the news(Sorry). Stay safe and healthy, everyone, and remember, stay weird.

Update

Hey! I’m sorry that I haven’t posted anything in a while. I’m just starting a new class and trying to develop a new routine before coming back to work. I want to work more if I am going to work full-time, but school is important to me right now, and my co-workers know that(I should have taken one class instead of two).

Update 2/20: I think I should schedule myself for my time of homework, free time (drawing, writing, and workout), and cleaning since Now that I got my transfer from part-time to Full-time. It’s starting in a couple of weeks, meaning I’ll be working five days straight for now on. I know I did something like that before, but I’m worried that I might drown myself with soon-to-be due homework. I hope I can handle it since the term ended in a couple of months, and I’ll be moving close to work in October.

If any of one, out there have some advice for me to be more Productive or more time manage? Please comment to me or go to “Ask Me.” I’ll be much appreciated. Thank you!

Iron Man Brings A Little Boy’s Voice Back

I’m a bit late, but I enjoy the video because this kid gets to meet Iron Man, the man who help me found his voice. It’s a big deal for me because, as an autism kid, I know what it likes not to speak. According to my mother, I don’t talk that much to anyone, even my family. I know that’s a shy person and wanted to make friends. When I move to FL, I start to talk more, became less shy, and made some friends as I enter high school. I guess the move brings out my voice. That little boy is damn lucky to meet the man who responsible for bringing his voice. I may or may not meet Iron Man himself one day, but I’m happy that he made the boy’s day as well as his parents. Mr. Stark is so cute, and I meant the dog if you have yet to see the video. Bye.

Update

So, it’s been 13 days since my last posts. I have been working extra hours to get some money and see if I can handle being a full-timer by working five days straight. The very first time I did something like that was a couple of years back, and the store was remodeling during the night. It was ok until over the shift; I was an anxiety attack. I went to the bathroom to calm myself down and ended up cried because everything was overwhelming. Now, this year, the second time, I found myself upbeat, like I’m unstoppable for a while, with a little help of Bang, the small energy drink. LOL. I’m going to try working five days again soon until I am full-time at work, even when our hours have cut.

School started again as well. I only have two online classes for now because I might move into a different place in the summer, somewhere near my job and my future college. Still, debate which school I should go to in Orlando. I need to talk with my adviser before it’s too late. My one class started well since my other class will not begin until next month: one is full term, and the other is a 12-week term. I hope one of my classes won’t give me a hard time since I work nights.

That is all I have to tell you guys for now, until next time. Stay weird! Oh, yeah! I posted a new chapter of my fanfiction last night. If you want to read it, Here’s the link:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9866713/1/Music-teacher-s-lover

It’s a Soul Eater fanfiction if you were wondering. Have a good day. Bye!

Bye-bye, 2019 and Hello, 2020

Happy New Year, Everybody!!! 2019 was an exciting year for me: the good and the bad times of 2019. Now, Today is not just a new year; it’s a new decade. I don’t know what this year has in store for me, but I hope it will be better than the last with this blog to share it with you all. Have a great new year and I will post some more soon. Bye!

Happy Holidays

I just wanted to said Happy Holidays to everybody who celebrated Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and even the winter solstice. I hope you have a great one by celebrated with your loved ones(your families and friends).

Earning my Independence

Sometimes with autism, it’s hard to have some independent for yourself. Sure, I have my fair shares of independence. I cook my food; I clean the house sometime; do the laundry, and get an Uber or Lyft to get me places, like school or visit my friends. Now, this week, I got myself a big: Home alone, aka Living by myself, and I want to share my experience with you guys.

I have been home alone before but never been more than a day. You see, I was initially going to New York with my family to visit my aunt and planning on bringing our dog by car. However, knowing that it’s going to a 16-hours drive with me, five people(my mom, my stepfather, and my three siblings) and the dog. So, I decided to stay behind with my dog. The kids were upset that the dog is staying with me and not going to New York with them, but it was for the best. I mean, Image, a big dog like Beba(my dog) in a 16-hour drive from FL to NY and she never stays still on a moving car. So, yeah. She is staying with me as my guard. LOL. They left the house late Thursday night, and I did my routine before bed. Also, I have a friend over to talk for a bit.

Friday was a peaceful day. Relax before I did anything else, and of course, I make sure that Beba is fed, played, and walked. After all, I am her dog walker; she always prefers me to walk her than anyone else in the household. To this day, I still don’t know why is that. Saturday was supposedly cleaning day, starting with the bathroom, but things turn bad that morning. My dog was digging the trash in my mom’s room for the chicken bone that my dumbass stepfather left. I try to take it away, but then she bit me on my thumb, and I started to bleed. Now, I know that’s a bad dog off her, but she never means to do that. Beba hid under my bed after what she did as I stopped my wound from bleeding. I don’t need any stitches for that in case you would wonder. So, the rest of that day, I watch tv and writing my stories as I am trying to heal. Even try to take my dog to feel forgiven. She has been under my bed for hours, avoid looking at me, and every time she’s near me, she started to shake, like if she was crying. Eventually, she’s at peace with me. That Saturday night I was sleeping, I have a bad dream about someone breaking in the house, and it was scary. Thank god, that Beba was sleeping with me. She can alert me, like always. Sunday: my wound is healing and cleaning the house to keep myself busy. I even decorated the tree since my sister, who was begging for a tree, failed to do it, and Christmas is coming soon. Mom and the others were supposedly on the road to go back home, but they stay for another night. Monday wasn’t eventful, but I didn’t mind. I only clean a bit, watch some movies, and write more to my stories, just thinking about when to update my fanfictions. Now, on Tuesday, I woke up early because I couldn’t sleep right for some reason; I remember some very odd and mix-up dreams in one sleep. So, I decided to be up and make sure that everything’s cleaned. My family was finally home around noon. My dog was so damn happy to see them again, mostly Mom, so happy that she started stealing their socks(her way of saying ‘I’m mad at you for leaving me’). LOL. So, now that they’re home, I decided to go back to work to make some extra money before the new year starts.

Four and a half days. Almost five days of practicing living alone, and I believe that I did a good job. My mother even said I did okay on my own. It was challenging to do something like that, but I always like to challenge myself because sometimes life itself is challenging every day, and you never know what’s going to hit you. I’m glad that I did this opportunity, and I feel like I can able to do it. I always wanted my place, my spaces, because I’m getting older, and I want my independence, just like everybody else. Is that so wrong? Thank you for your time in reading this. Until next time, Bye-bye.

Feels good to write

Ever since I started this blog, I began to write more than I expected or realized. Not just for this blog, but my stories. I love to write stories. I have some fanfiction stories in fanfiction.net.

Before this blog, I write my stories: either fanfiction or my own story. However, between high school and now, with life, work, and college, I either don’t find the time or no passion for it. Same with my drawing. I feel less creative with writing, which made me a bit depressed when I’m trying to write. I’m not too fond of the feeling, and I blame work and school for it because it’s easy to blame on something or someone when, in reality, it’s yourself. It might feel like it’s what caused my depression, but I know it’s not true. I like going to school to learn, and I love going to work. It made me feel like I have a purpose. Have you ever feel like that?

Lately, as I clear out my old room and move things into my new one, I found my early poems, my thoughts, and my assignments from high school. Some of them made me laugh, sad, or even smile as I read them. It is making me realize how I loved and missed writing. Now, I’m trying to have that passion again with my blog and my stories in the process. Also, I got myself a new laptop that I have been saved up for it. I still testing it out, but I’m starting to enjoy it. I try to have to found a pen for my laptop since it’s a 2 in 1 kind and I want to learn to draw on the computer because I suck at it. LOL. Does anyone know what pen that works on an HP Pavilion x360 convertible 14-cd1xxx? It will be so helpful, thanks.

If you want to check out my fanfiction, you can. I know some of my stories are old and unfinished, but I am writing more, have a couple of new chapters coming up, and I will update it soon before the year starts, hopefully. Here’s the link: https://www.fanfiction.net/~sampuig306 Thank you for your time, and I will post more soon. Until then, stay weird, everybody.

Art is My First and True Love

My class got canceled due to my teacher’s oral surgery. Unable to open his mouth without feeling the worst pain that you can possibly imagine. I genuinely hope it heals better for the next class on Monday. Mr. V is a great teacher and one of my favorite art teacher. I have other art teachers in the past from my childhood in NY to Now. Over those times, They made fall in love art again when I fall out of it until in high school, when I decided that I want to go to college to learn more about art and making art. Since I went to his drawing class a couple of years, he was helping me to improve my drawing skills and actually try to draw more to recover after his class.

This drawing is my favorite piece. It took me three days to finish this as a final exam in Mr. V’s class. He was impressed that I used colored pencils for it and improved a lot. He suggested that I should turn this piece into a painting, meaning he really likes it. It made me happy and should improve my drawing skills before I attend another art class. I have been fall in and out of love with art before. I don’t want to fall out of this one again. Time to drawing!

New month, My favortive month

Happy birthday to former president Carter, Disney World, and last, but not least, mom.

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Since it’s my mom’s birthday, I decided to skip the art club today and stay home to clean to house a bit for her. It’s the least I could do since I have some time to kill before going back to work and next class assignments. But that is not all. I’m amazed that after I started this blog, I already got a like and a follower. Cool, right? It’s a good start.

It’s October!! I love that month, mostly it because of Halloween. I mean, who does love Halloween? I am one of those people who loves Halloween more than Christmas. I do like Christmas, of course. That is why we have “The Nightmare Before Christmas” because It’s a Halloween/Christmas movie and I love it! Thanks, Tim Burton.

Hi, there!

Who am I and Why blogging?

Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.

— Oscar Wilde.

Hi, My name is Samantha. Here’s some facts of me:

• I’m an college student

• I love being creative

• and I have Autism

Asperger Syndrome, to be exact. When I told someone my story, about how I was struggling with things, like school and social, about how I challenge myself, and about how far I come along; they said I write about my life. Having autism wasn’t easy for someone like me. I thought I wouldn’t be anything then I was, but then I learn about Temple Grandin and her struggle with autism. It gave me hope that I can be anything I set my mind to it. Now, we have Haley Moss who being a first lawyer with autism and young Greta Thunberg: A environmental activist and She’s 16. Their stories have told, and I want to tell mine. It might be not as big as theirs, but I hope that my stories, my thoughts, maybe my idea might help and inspired someone like me. So, I’m writing a blog about it. I do not expect to be famous or something. Maybe to make someone inspired. That is all. I hope that you enjoy this post. Until next time. Bye.

Happy Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day to ones who are biological or stepmothers, aunts, or sisters that step up. Mothers to furry babies, foster mothers, adoptive mothers, single mothers, mothers who are gone too soon, mothers who are grieving, and fathers who are both mom and dad and, of course, mother figures as well. More importantly, mothers to autistic children and disabled children, like my mom. It may not be an easy job, but I am grateful to have a mom like her. A mom who believes that I can be or do anything that I put my mind to it, like going to college that I told you about in my ‘Dec. 9’ post. She’s the coolest mom, and I’m lucky to be her daughter.

(I realized I wrote the same post as last year; I just made some changes. Hehe)

Update(Happy Earth Day)

I don’t have any that I want to post other than Happy Earth Day, but I just wanted to thank you for reading my blog. I have been checking the stats and most post that has been checking out is “Time to make some change.” I don’t know what that post got more views, but I would like to hear your thoughts about it. No rude words or trolling, please.

I also want to give a long overdue thanks to “Love That Max” for unexpectedly bring viewers to my blog a year ago. If you are reading this post, I’m sorry for taking this long, but Thank you for choosing ” Quarantine life” as your favorite post. I never heard of you before until I found out a couple of months later after that post, honestly. Thank you so much for choosing that post as your favorite and bring me some viewers.

I wish you all well and stay safe, and other thanks to the doctors and nurses for taking care of us during this difficult time. Thank you, and I’ll post more soon. Stay weird, lovelies!

Try to date

Usually, I would go out with friends or go to events to meet people. With Covid and the pandemic, almost everyone meets people online, even though online dating is nothing new. For that, I give it a try.

Although I try online dating before, it was terrible timing because my family and I were trying to move to a different area, much closer to our jobs. Also, my soon-to-be sister was somewhat pressuring me to do it around that time, not that I’m blaming her. She gives me a push. Still, it was a stressful time, so that ended briefly. That was about eight months ago, I believe. And then, four-month later, I try again on my terms.

Since now that we live close to Disney and taking a break from school, I thought, ‘why not try again?’. It lasted nearly two months since I got tired of all of ‘the match, respond a couple of times, and then ghosted’ me. Are most guys treat you like that when you are online dating? Or is it because I wrote on my profile that I’m autistic? I don’t know.

However, I know that a couple of guys still talk to me, and one of them, I hang out with him. We’re only friends right now. So, that experience was stressful and exciting because, in a way, I’m meeting new people(on my phone). I might do this again on a different site and maybe later in the year. For now, I need to do things before I go back to school. I hope everyone is well and safe. Stay safe, stay kind, and stay weird.

Happy Easter!

I know yesterday was Easter, but I was busy with my friends’ project. However, Today is Easter in Canada hehe. I hope everyone had a good one, and everyone stay safe and beats Covid too.

April is Autism Awareness/Acceptance Month

Now, I know that it has been known as Autism Awareness Month for as long as I can remember, and now, I heard that they were trying to change it into Autism Acceptance Month. to be honest, I like the term “acceptance,” but “awareness” is still needed. I mean, the word “awareness” is not a bad word to use; it means knowledge and understanding that something is happening or exists. Autism has been exist for a long time, and some people didn’t think about it, like, someone called them slow, off, or the “R” word, and I still dislike that word with great passion.

When I’m getting to know someone, I always tell them that I am an Autistic young woman and okay with that fact. There was a 60/40 chance that they accept that is who I am and still want me in their life. The 40 % chance is when I try to date, so far. The point that I’m trying to make is that I do want people to accept Autism as a part of me, and it’s not going to charge that, but I also want people to be aware that Autism is not something to be fixed, and there are different levels of Autism, like myself and my brother. We all have strengths and weaknesses, just like everyone. We just more different than others. I’m okay that I’m autistic and my friends and my family accept me and my disability.

So, I hope everyone is alright, be safe, and please, wear a mask. Also, Be kind, accept, and support the autism community. Have a good day!

Why be perfect?

I know that I haven’t to be perfect, but why I always feel like I need to be perfect? The fear of never good enough? Feeling like a failure and cry? Even if you just halfway done.

I’m a high-functioning autistic woman, and I don’t have anything like that until I got older. There were times when I had such bad breakdowns; I thought I was drowning, and I remember all of them. I remember feeling the pressure of people keep piling in on me at work or school and recognizing that pain before it reaches the surface—the feeling of my lungs filling with water, just waiting for me to breathe air again.

I’m only one person for crying out loud. I know that, but I know that I’m not alone in this. I know a few people who feel like they should give up or quit. I feel like that too and probably wanted a different job other than Disney, but I can’t, especially when I saw a quote from work recently.

You’re allowed to scream, you’re allowed to cry, but do not give up.

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I found it funny when I saw it at work for some reason. Maybe because I do cry when I’m feeling overwhelmed, never the less, I will remember those words as my mantra when I feel like I want to give up. And remember that I’m not perfect, but I am in my way. I am at my best.